There are moments in life when the mood expresses certain needs.
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I don’t know if it’s the fact that mercury retrograde has finally stopped or if the full moon has finally taken its worst, but I really wanted to see something that would give new meaning to my life. I was there.
At the very least, it made us rethink the meaning of technology.
So I turned to Amazon, the treasure trove of all things, to see what it had to offer.
Deliberately and specifically, I searched for “weird technology gadgets.”
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This has been a slight trend of mine lately since I started living with a robot cat.
What can Amazon offer to defeat it? Indeed, how does Amazon’s vast internal intelligence define “weird”?
I was happy to see 2,000 results. Clearly, I was about to fall into a vortex of tremendous brilliance.
Would you call this strange?
But then I opened my eyes. The first thing that was offered was, oh, xsainlao newtons kinetic art perpetual motion machinedesktop decoration toy, science physics gadget, non-stop rolling ball toy, balance stress relief, creative gift for friends and family.
This wasn’t strange at all. This is the kind of thing that executives had on their desks. When there were desks. 1980s.
Hmm, I think the product description was strange. Sample: “All parts of this product are handmade, and you need to assemble it yourself when purchasing. Therefore, you need the basis for making handmade products.”
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What is the basis? Do you mean the hands?
Weird Amazon results, or rather, after some weird Amazon results. Novium Hover Pen 2.0 – Futuristic luxury pen made of aerospace alloy, unique aesthetics, free rotating executive pen, cool gadget, birthday gift for men and women (Space Black, Basic).
This simply raises two questions. why?
I noticed that these particular results are sponsored. So were these companies paying to be in the “weird” search category?
Amazon chooses strange things.I decided to whisper to myself.
I scrolled a little further down and wondered what Amazon itself would choose to satisfy my bizarre quest.
Luckily, there was a result marked “Amazon’s Choice”.
I wasn’t ready for this.suggested by Amazon Original toilet night light tech gadget. Fun bathroom motion sensor LED lighting. Weird novelty, funny birthday gag, stocking stuffer, gift idea for him, her, men, boys, toddlers, mom, dad, brother.
Why on earth would we need this? So, may I ask, why on earth is this weird?
Amazon, or rather the maker of this glowing product, declares that it will improve your sleep. “ToiLight is a cool LED motion-activated night light that automatically turns on when you approach the toilet bowl, illuminating it with a soothing ambiance to soothe you.”
Do I need a cozy night light in my bathroom? No. Is this strange? it’s not.
And would you believe you’ll get a free e-book when you buy one of these? “365 Secrets of Tidying Up Your Home will help you keep your home in tip-top shape, so why not buy ToiLight’s 365 Secrets of Tidying Up Your Home? The perfect complement,” the listing reads.
I was worried that the situation with Amazon would be the worst. I was beginning to lose hope in the very existence of true strangeness.
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strange love
Amazon’s next recommendation is: Cryptex Da Vinci Code Mini Cryptex Lock Puzzle Box With hidden compartment, anniversary, Valentine’s Day, romantic birthday gift, gift for girlfriend, gift for girlfriend, personal box.
Who writes these product descriptions? What makes them the perfect anniversary or Valentine’s gift? Why doesn’t Amazon understand the concept of weird?
After reading a little more about this locking puzzle box, I was ready to admit that there was some weirdness in it. “The Da Vinci Codec is copied from the Da Vinci Manuscript in The Da Vinci Code. According to the plot of the story, there is a scroll about the greatest secrets of the Abbey of Sion, and even its entirety. [sic] Christianity hidden inside cryptocurrencies. To open Cryptex, you need to unlock a 5-digit code. The cipher cylinder has 5 turntables, each turntable has 26 characters, and there are 11,881,376 possible permutations and combinations of the ciphertext. ”
My consciousness began to fade away. What new hellfire was this?
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And the creators of this thing have solved the Valentine’s mystery. Believe it or not.
are you ready?
Are you serious?
“If you are planning to propose or give a gift for Valentine’s Day, Anniversary, Wedding Anniversary, etc., Cryptex is the perfect choice. Its unique password setting will add romance, fun, and mystery to you. We will give you a pair. [sic] Rings help make your wishes come true. ”
Can I get a ring for free? That’s strange.
I admit that one person’s weirdo is another person’s ideal lawmaker. However, I am concerned that people looking for something different in life should not choose Amazon as their first source of ideas.
Things may turn out to be a completely different kind of strange than they thought.
